Hidden Desires
by spnfan02
Summary: Meg tries to keep her feelings for Castiel a secret from everyone but jealousy gets the best of her when Anna shows up unannounced.
1. Hello Anna

Cas, Meg, Sam and Dean were all hiding out at the old cabin which once belonged to their father. They'd made there escape from the mental institution with hester and the other angels hot on their trail. They were formulating a plan to end Dick Roman and the leviathans.

"Cas, i need to talk to you alone" Dean said as he motioned castiel to follow him outside.

Once they were away from meg and sam dean voiced his concerns.

"Cas, we shouldnt be taking meg with us. We cant trust her" Dean stated

Castiel gave dean a serious look..."I trust her dean"

Dean sighed "I get it cas, she stayed with you but she has her own agenda. We cant be sure she wont turn on us"

"Shes coming dean, we need her"

Dean held his hands up in defeat "Fine, but if this all goes pear shaped just remember YOU trusted her"

Castiel nodded "I understand"

Catiel and dean returned inside.

Meg smirked as they entered "Boyfriend meeting?"

Sam let out a small laugh unable to hold it in.

"Shut up" Dean said bluntly not finding it funny.

Sam slapped his hands together to get everyones attention "So, whats the plan?"

"Weve got the weapon, all we need is opportunity" Dean answered

Meg smiled "Yes all we need to do is break into a building filled with leviathans and hope to find and kill the poppa"

Dean gave her a dirty look "If you want out just say so sister, not tears shed by me"

Meg glanced at castiel quicky before returning her gaze to dean "You need me so dont pretend like you dont. Strength in numbers deano"

Dean was about to speak when sam interupted "Ive gotta agree with meg, we need all the help we can get"

Dean clenched his fists tightly for a second then released them before speaking "Fine!"

Castiel looked at meg and gave her a genuine smile.

"When do we do this?" Castiel asked

"Tomorrow" dean stated "Its not like our chances of success with get any better if we wait"

Sam nodded in agreement "Alright then"

Dean waved his hand at Sam "Come on sammy we'll load up the impala"

When the boys had walked outside castiel approached meg "Meg, thank you...For helping us"

There was a small silence before cas spoke again.

"Meg you stayed with me in the hospital, you watched over me, why?"

Meg was taken back by his question. She wasnt about to tell him that she genuinely worried about him. That she stayed to make sure he was ok.

"Your my security clearence" She smiled "If we make it out of this ive still got crowley on my ass and i expect you to get rid of him for me" In truth that wasnt why she was there. All her natural instincts told her to run. To get out and save her own ass...but she couldnt bring herself to leave castiel. What she felt for him she would never admit to him.

Castiels face crunched up as if he was confussed "If you just want me to get rid of crowley why come with us tomorrow? Why risk your life?"

Castiel couldnt explain the feelings he had for meg. He'd never felt them before, they didnt come naturally to him. He was drawn to her. He new she was a demon, a souless creature yet he didnt see that. He saw past that. He only saw beauty and it confussed him.

Meg opened her mouth but before she could speak castiel shhhhhd her as he looked around the room.

Dean and sam came running in looking disturbed "Cas! I dont know how its possible but..." Dean stopped as the flutter of wings announced her presence

"Anna!" Cas said in disbelief

There stood anna milton, the angels. The very dead angel.

She smiled "Hello Castiel" She nodded her head to acknowledge the brothers "Sam, Dean"

Dean stared at her with wide eyes "How are...how are you here? How are you alive?"

"I believe god brought me back" Anna stated with a serious face

"Even if he did anna, what are you doing here!" Castiel said in an obviously annoyed tone

Anna took a few steps to enter the cabin further "Im here to help castiel. Im here to make things right"

Dean laughed out loud "Help? After what you tryed to do to sam? To me?" He scoffed "No thanks"

"Yes" Sam said over dean

Dean looked at sam in shock "Sammy what are you doing?"

"Weve been over this dean, we need all the help we can get" Sam said looking at cas "Right cas?"

"She cant be trusted" Castiel said in a rough tone

"And neither can meg" Sam shot back "But given our current situation we dont have the luxury of being picky"

Dean ran his hands down his face. He knew dean was right. "Yeah, sammy i hear you"

Meg had been silent. Processing the situation. Who was this chick? And why was she looking at clearence like that!

Anna stepped toward castiel a sad look on her face "Castiel im here to redeem myself, please give me a chance" Anna had just taken notice of the brunette not far from castiels side. Her sad face instantly turned into an angry one

"What is that!" She yelled motioning to meg

Dean smirk "Anna, Meg. Meg, Anna"

Cas took a protective step toward meg

Anna shook her head "Your working with demons castiel?"

Castiel held his head up high "Meg is none of your concern, you will leave her be"

Anna kept her gaze on meg and megs anger build up

"I dont like the way your looking at me!" Meg said in a cocky voice folding her arms while she glared at anna "Better be careful red"

"Meg stop" Castiel whispered.

"Simmer down girls" dean said laughing

"Your working with demons? Again?" anna questioned dean

"Meg is..." Dean trailed off

Sam picked up the slack "Shes here to help, just like you said you were" he paused before continueing "Your either in or out anna"

"Im in sam, i said i wanted to redeem myself and i do" Anna turned her gaze to meg and castiel "But i strongly suggest we drop the demon whore" Now Looking directly at meg she drawled out her last sentence..."You know what happened last time you trusted one." It was clear to everyone that anna meant ruby. Needless to say meg was pissed.

Megs face cruched up in anger "ALRIGHT THATS IT RED, LETS GO!" she spat as she clenched her fits and started walking toward anna but before meg could reach her her arm was pulled back. She turned around to see castiel had hold of her. "Let go clearence" She said threw grinding teeth

"No" Castiel said sturnly

Sam stepped foward looking very frustrated "Look weve got bigger problems going on then you girls and your cat fights. Tomorrow we take on dick" He looked to dean for some help but dean stayed silent "So despite what we think of each other, we have to work together to get this done"

Castiel nodded in understanding "Yes agreed"

Meg scoffed and shook castiels now loose grip from her arm before walking out the front door past anna, shoving her on the way.

Castiel approached the brothers while anna followed

Dean motioned to the door "wheres she gone?" he clearly directed his question at castiel.

Castiel stared at the door "To cool down. I'll find her" he said and with a flutter of wings he was gone

Anna looked from dean to sam then back at dean "I think we have some catching up to do" She said in a serious tone.

They both nodded

When the boys had finished explaining the dick roman leviathan situation along with everything else including the word of god and castiels temporary trip to the looney bin she definatly had some questions

"The...the angels are dead? All of them?" Anna said sadly

Dean gave her a sympathetic look "Cas said if theres any of them left there in hiding".

"And cas...he really took all the souls from purgatory?" She spoke quietly incase castiel returned

Sam nodded while dean spoke "Hell yes, and what a mess that was!"

Anna was in a serious state of shock and it took awhile till she spoke again

"And the demon, where does she come into this?" anna looked to the boys for answers

Dean threw his hands up in the air "Dont even get me started on meg!" he said with a clear look of annoyance on his face

"If you dont trust her, why is she here?" anna kept her gaze on dean

Dean sighed loudly "cas does..."

"and weve gotta respect that" sam added

"Castiel and the demon...they...are something?" anna questioned further

Sam let out a giggle "God no, cas is still as clueless as a five year old boy...they...just...actually i honestly dont no what there dynamic is"

Anna was silent. Processing all she had just learnt.

What couldve possibly pushed castiel to fall that far? she wondered. And this demon...had she corrupted him? She had always respected castiel and wanted to make things right with him...she'd always cared for him. She just never made it clear to him in all his innocence. But she would make it clear now.

Meg had been mraching up the gravel road toward town. Trying her hardest to refrain from going back and ripping that cows head off

Suddenly she was startled causing her to trip and fall backward on her butt.

"Cas!" she shouted "how many times do i have to tell you not to do that!"

castiel stood in front of her. Solid as a rock..."where are you doing?" he asked

Meg got up dusting herself off "nowhere! now leave me alone" she said as she side stepped cas ad kept walking

"Come back meg" Castiel spoke from behind her..."please"

meg turned around to look at him and gave him a half hearted smile "dont worry clearence, im not leaving you. I'll be back soon"

"I wont let her hurt you meg" castiel sais seriously

Meg smirked "Its not me you should be worried about feathers...but yea...i know"

Meg tryed her best to suppress a genuine smile. He really cared for her. He'd take out his own kind to protect her. And she'd do the same for him.

"We should get back" He said

Meg hesitated slighlty before nodding  
"Come on" He said holding his hand out to her

"I dont need you to hold my hand clearance" She said is her smug voice

She wasnt about to play happy couple. It could never happen.

Castiel smiled at her resistance and followed behind her as they walked back to the cabin.


	2. Separation

Castiel smiled at her resistance and followed behind her as they walked back to the cabin.

When Castiel and meg entered the cabin they saw Dean, sam and anna sat at the table. Discussing there strategy.

"So whats the plan?" Castiel asked

Dean stood up from his chair..."Well, dick knows where coming. So were gunna announce ourselves" He paused and looked at meg "Big!"

Meg smirked "Yea, yea ill play distraction deano"

"No" castiel said sturnly "Meg will be slaughtered. She will not go alone, i will go with her"

Sam shook his head "No go cas. We need you inside. You know the leviathas, you know dick. We need you for this to work"

Before cas could argue any further anna spoke up

"Ill go with her" She said leaving everyone shocked

"No thanks" Meg spat, venom in her voice

"If castiel wishes you help, i will be it" anna said calmly

"Well feathers doesnt get to make the decisions" meg snapped back clearly irritated.

Sam stood up from the table pushing his chair back "Meg and anna will enter together. decision made"

Dean nodded "Give em hell girls" he smiled knowing neither one of them was truly happy with the situation

Meg huffed loudly. Pissed off but clearly giving up the fight.

Dean stretched his arms over his head and yawned "Well im tuning in, big plans tomorrow, wars to wage, leviathans to kill" He laughed at how funny he was. In the face of nearly certain death he always seemed to find the humourous side.

Annas pov

It was night. Everyone lay sleeping. Even castiel which was remarkable because he didnt need to sleep. He had changed so much since we had last seen each other. The connection he had with the winchesters, his defiance from heaven. I needed to talk to him. I approached him quietly trying not to wake the others. I leant at his side and his eyes snapped open obviously feeling my presence.

"Anna" he said quietly "what are you doing?"

"i need to talk to you" i whispered back "please, follow me"

I headed towards the door and quickly looked back to make sure he was following. He was.

When we stepped outside he spoke before i got the chance

"anna, what do you want?"

i sighed "castiel, i know you dont want me here. I betrayed you all but i really am trying to make it right"

his face didnt change..."Then make sure you do"

I nodded "i will, i just need you to give me a chance"

"I will try" is all he said before turning to leave

I wasnt finished. I automatically grabbed his hand to stop him.

He slowly turned back to me "What...what are you doing?" he questioned as he pulled his hand back.

It was now or never

"I need you to know" i paused trying to find the words. "ive always cared for you...i know you once cared for me too...Castiel" i paused again..."im here...for...you"

Castiel looked at me sadly "Anna, i dont... Its not like that...It wont ever be like that"

I felt a thud in my heart as he continued to speak

"It is true i once...cared for you. But its...not like that anymore. If this means you will nolonger help us...i understand" He waited for my responce and i had to ask the question that played on my mind.

"Is it her?" ...

Castiel didnt answer me

"the demon?" i asked again

He silence answered for him.

I sighed and placed my hand to his cheek "Your making a mistake castiel. Shes not...good"

Castiel pushed my had away harshly "You have no idea what she is" He stated

"No more anna" He said as he quickly headed back inside leaving me with my thoughts.

Megs POV

She was crazy if she thought i wouldnt hear her and clearence leave. I heard her ask him to talk. What was she doing? I stayed perfectly still pretending to sleep. Not much time had passed before cas came inside and lay back down. Anna hadnt returned and i was definately not upset about that. She liked him, i knew it. I just didnt know how he felt about her and i didnt know why i cared so much.

When the sun started shining i was the first to get up. I stood in the small kitchen lost in my thoughts when anna came threw the front door. She approached me and i pretending to take no notice of her. I went to exit when her voice stopped me

"Uh meg? Can i talk to you?"

Talk? ...Who did this chick think she was! Without thinking i said something i shouldnt have...

"What is it with you and needing to talk?"

She looked at me confused and i new id stuffed up.  
"You heard me?...talking to castiel?"

I shouldve shut my mouth. I tryed to keep my cool...

"It was sorta hard not to hear you creep up and grab him!" I spat.

Oh god why was i getting so mad? If i wasnt careful she'd read to much into it

Anna tilted her head in a castiel way "Your jealous?" She questioned

I laughed out loud and tryed to hide my embaressment..."Not a chance red, hes all yours!"

Anna looked at me sadly "He does not want me" She paused slightly "He wants you"

I was shocked. Why would she say that? She was trying to break me. To make me admit my feelings for castiel. Knowone manipulated me

"Well thats great buttercup but me and clearence aint gonna happen"

I heard the boys getting up and turned away from anna to face them

I gave them the biggest smile possible "Morning sunshines" i said sarcastically

Dean gave me a sarcastic smile while sam went straight to the bag of weapons and picked them up. Castiel entered last and gave me a half hearted smile.

"Well" dean said getting everyones attention "lets do this"

Dean and sam rode up front while anna cas and i sat in the back. I could feel castiels eyes burning holes threw me and it was driving me crazy!

The impala came to a stop just outside dick romans company building

We all jumped out of the car and looked around.

I smiled smugly "Well boys, guess im up first"

I took to steps when castiel instantly appeared infront of me

"Be careful meg" he said just above a whisper

It took every ounce of strength in me to refrain from kissing him. Thoughts ran threw my mind. What if i never got the chance again? What if he never knew how i felt? I new it was wrong but i just couldnt shake him

"Dont get killed feathers" I winked at him "You owe me remember"

He smiled at me and it made my heart melt. I pulled out my knife and looked to anna

"You ready?" I questioned

She nodded and we headed toward the entrance of Sudocorp

As predicted we didnt get far when a heap of leviathan meet us out front. They instantly charged at us and i went into survival mood. I threw borax at them while slashing what i could. I glanced to anna who was obviously more then capable of defendig herself as i saw her slicing the heads off every one of them.

The glance i gave her distracted me and one leviathan slammed me to the ground. I quirmed underneath it when it released its jaws. It leant into me when suddenly its head was cut clean off. Anna held her hand out to help me up

Unable to accept help i gave her the cold shoulder "I had it covered red"

"I promised to help and thats what a intend to do" She explained.

We ran up the stairs to the building and entered...

Castiel POV

When we saw the leviathan charge at meg and anna we took our chance to enter sudocorp hopfully undetected. I flew in a back entrance and opened the door for the winchesters.

We walked quietly down the hall looking through every window to every room.

"Cas" Dean whispered "I no this plan intailed an easy entrance but doesnt this seem alittle..."

"To easy" Sam finished his sentence for him

Id heard them speaking but my mind was lost on meg, her safety...was she ok?

"Cas" dean spat "Are you even listening

"Yes" i answered secounds before we were intercepted by three leviathan

"Fannnnnnntasticccccc" Dean said sarcastically pulling out his machette and motion sam to get ready

"Now now boys" A familiar voice spoke

We looked curiously as dick stepped infront of the other leviathans.

"Not here to kiil me are you?"

Dean smiled "No no were here for tea and cookies"

Dick smiled wickedly "Now thats why i like you dean. Always a sence of humour"

"Enough" I shouted "This ends now"

Dick kept his smile "Your right angel. This ends, for all of you"

Suddenly a dozen leviathans appeared infront of us and the fight began. We were loosing. That much was obvious. Dean had been hit to the ground while sam was recieving to many blows. Dick had made an escape while the fight played out. I weighed up my options and new we couldnt win this battle. I grabbed hold of dean then slashed the leviathan attacking sam and grabbed him. I had no choice...i flew us out of there.

Annas POV

We entered the building and heard the commotion. there was definatly a fight occuring inside and meg ran in the direction of the noise. She was a few feet infront of me when she was hit from the side landing on the floor. Dick roman leant over her and more leviathans entered.

"Your friends are gone" Dick said with a smile as he ran his fingers threw megs hair. She struggled to get away from him but his grip on her was tight.

The other leviathans circled me ready to attack

"You know, i dont like angels" Dick said in an amused tone

"Anna get out now!" I heard meg yell. I had no choice. I couldnt get to her. I had to leave. I flew to the only place i new. The cabin


	3. Truth

"Anna get out now!" I heard meg yell. I had no choice. I couldnt get to her. I had to leave. I flew to the only place i new. The cabin

Castiels POV

We had failed. Dick was more then ready for us. I saw our only chance of survival was to retreat. We sat in the cabin wollowing in our epic failure.

Dean slammed his fasts on the table in frustration "Great!" He shouted "That was a frikin disaster!"

Sam looked to the ground "We couldnt have won dean"

Dean dragged his fists of the table "Thanks sherlock!"

I shared there disapointment but mostly my thoughts were with meg

"We have to go back for meg" I paused thinking about how that sounded .."And anna" I added

Deans eyes widened "Are you frikin crazy!"

Sam stared as cas as if in a trace "Your joking right? After what happened back there you expect to march back in!"

I understood what the boys were trying to tell me. It was dangerous reckless and almost suicidel.

"We are a team" I stated as a fact to try and play on there emotions. "We all participated in this plan and we all deserve to make it out"

Dean was about to argue against me when i felt a presence

"Shhhh" I said looking around

The brothers eyes scanned the room

"Cas what is it" Dean whispered

Sam pulled the gun from his jacket

It was a few seconds before i figured out who it was

"Its anna" I said, a glimmer of hope in my voice. Not for anna but for meg

A flutter of wings and anna appeared...Alone.

Sam and dean stared at her "Anna you made it out" Dean took a breath before explaining what had happened "We were ambushed, Dick was waiting for us. We had no chance"

Sam looked to the floor once again

"As were we" Anna responded with sadness in her voice

I had waited untill not for meg to enter...but she hadnt

"Where is meg?" I asked

Anna looked at me with sad eyes "She didnt make it out castiel"

I felt the anger in me build up and i ran at her pressing her against the wall. She didnt bother trying to fight me

"You left her there!" i yelled in her face and saw the fear in her eyes

Tears were now running down her cheeks. "Im, im sorry. Dick had her. There was nothing i could do"

I instantly grabbed her throat makin it harder for her to speak.

"Cas!" Dean yelled as he and sam ran to me grabbing each of my arms tying to pull me away from anna...with no success

Anna choked out her next sentence ..."She...she...told me...to...go"

I released her at stepped back as she dropped to the floor

I paced around the room while sam helped anna up

Dean stepped toward me "cas, your not going back there"

"Yes i am dean" i responded.

He shook his head "No cas, You arent going! Its suicide!"

That just made me mader "I dont expect you to come and i dont expect you to understand"

Sam shook his head "Meg wouldnt want you to charge in there unprepared and get yourself killed. You dont even know if shes still alive"

My stomach sank at his last words...you dont even know if shes alive...

"I...i...have to try... Im sorry" i blurted out and flew out before they had a chance to respond

I couldnt expect them to fight for meg, not after everything she'd done to them.

I appeared out the front of Sudocorp. I was going to save her. Even if it cost me my life...

Megs POV

I sat in the empty room. It resembled a prison cell, much like the ones crowley had used when he was collecting the alphas.

Great! Captured by the enemy...good one meg.

I knew i was going to die and id probably be tortured and used. But that leviathan dick was wrong if he thought i was going to give him my fear!

"If your gonna kill me just kill me"

Dick smirked as he walked toward the bars to get a better look at me

"Oh honey, im not going to kill you" He paused for a seond but his smiled remained

"Not yet anyway. You see i am well aware of the weapon your little friends have. Cant have weapons that can kill me floating around now can i?"

"IM NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING!" i spat

He laughed at my hostile responce

"I dont need you to tell me darl'n. See im willing to bet your little buddys will come back for you. Then ill detsroy the only threat left against me"

He laughed in success while i laughed in what i thought was his stupidity

I smiled thinking i was about to blow up his whole plan

"I hate to burst your bubble..." I said, amusement in my voice .

I stepped closer so my face was against the bars as close to his as possible

"But those little pansies arent coming back for me...they dont care about me" My smile grew larger "And they sure as hell wont risk their lives for me...so if your gonna kill me do it now!"

He didnt flinch, he didnt move.

"You really dont know do you?" he asked

"Know WHAT?" i shot back

"Your angel?...He'll come back for you, i have no doubt. And once he comes, those dimwitted wichesters will follow"

"What makes you so sure he'll come back!" i spat angrily

He locked eyes with me. That sardistic smirk still strong on his face

"When i first entered this world i existed in that angel. I learnt alot about him, alot about all of you actually" He paused before continuing

"Trust me honey, hes coming back for you"

He let out a loud laugh that made my blood boil

"As hilerious as it is he loves you demon" He turned away from the bars... "He wont leave you here" He added as he walked out of sight

I was left in shock. How could castiel love me? An angel...loving me?...im an abomination.

In that instant i prayed for the first time in a long time. I prayed that castiel would stay away, that he would leave me here and Dick would not win! But mostly i prayed that castiel stayed safe and unharmed...


End file.
